Confused...

As many of you may or may not know, I was engaged a little over a year ago and out of the blue with no hints or reason at all it was called off. It was the worst feeling I have ever had in my life. I have since then hated him, been angry at him and now the past week I have had a few dreams about him some of him dying and some of me and him happy. I am not sure what this is suppose to mean and its really starting to confuse me. I know I am beyond over him even if I wasn't I would have to be the dumb A** already got re-married. Poor girl. Anyways.... I am not sure what this means the feelings I have are not hate or even anger, its dull and sharp at the same time. Does this mean I have moved on that every feeling I have ever had for him are gone? Will they ever be gone or will I always have love for him? This confused feeling I have right now is not fun, I feel lost. He is over seas right now and I will always worry about him getting hurt so maybe that's it. Has anyone in the world out there ever been this way?

On a higher note I get to go to the Jazz game tonight 26 rows up from the floor, I have never been that close in my life I am pretty excited. Ill be sure to post pics of this great expirience.